Dear You,
On my own judgement, I have willingly chosen to take my own life. Suicide,yes. Firstly, I ask, please do not mourn too much, as you have always done. Treat my body as you have my 13/14/15 years here, as an undesirable carcass. Do not be sad or angry at me, or anyone else except yourself. I wish it would not have come to this, to guilt trip you, but yes, it is your ignorance, your lack of respect, your lack of concern, of humanity, of morality, of ethics, of knowledge, of common sense. You are the ones who have so blissfully ignored my pain, even if I couldn't show it you could have tried. I want you to remember me as a result of your ignorance of your fucking selfish selves. I hope you will learn from this and prevent further rescue missions such as this. Maybe this will be broadcast on the news, used in a newspaper or journal. I don't care, but I would prefer its publication so more people can suffer from their ignorance. You have not cared. You have piled things upon me like you have never believed. It is the lack of sociality that has contributed, too. The lack of any moral fiber in any people one can call "friends". I had no friends. They were all fucking losers who are complete idiots and are self-obsessed and unethical. They joke about things that are completely ridiculous. Everyone is like this though. The only way out is death, no matter what anyone says. I have contemplated over a new identity, but all people are bastards. The only way out is death, where there are no judges. Whether or not I will die is up to my personal will, and if I don't, then I have shamed myself, all a more reason to die. I have attempted suicide before, by self-strangulation by belts and shower hoses. I was have been too wimpy to die. But it has come to this. It is the hopefulness of the future that has kept me alive this far, but it has so fully dissapointed me. Millions of philosophical thoughts race through my head so fast it may as well burn up my brain, which I wouldn't mind. No one has helped me. I still love my family, but as I have seen, your lives would be much better without me. Same with all of your lives. It will g on as normal, since you have always ignored me. The growing pressure of society and school has compressed my thoughts so tight , I was contemplating a school shooting, but getting my hands on weapons was too risky. I have thought these thoughts for three months, after I read perks. It is much like Catcher in the Rye was to MDC. I am Charlie. I am him. Except worse, I have no friends. I have not benefited from teachers I would hope were helpful, such as my dissapointment with -----, and the romantic downgrading(?) --------. This lack of external action has so damaged my internal action I have been unsuccessful to try to save my life. I am leaving all that is mine to the people that need it. I have loved you, but I have not been truly loved. No one has had authentic caring for me, or that is not by guilt. If my suicide is unsuccessful, I will try to run away, and die on my own.
I don't believe in God, nor have I for the past year(s). These thoughts have consumed my life. I can no longer sustain this terrible weight. I must leave.
For statistical purposes, I have considered myself mildly bi-sexual and have diagnosed myself with bi-polar disorder. No rape or anything.
PS: Donate all possible of my organs.



This is the suicide note I wrote two years ago in Eighth grade. Not much has changed, except I don't hate other people in the sense that this note gives off. Seems so short when typed up.